Love Lessons Review

Recently I've been interested in World War Two diaries, especially those written by women. It's incredible when you consider those six years in (I'm mostly focusing on the British experience) history. There were as many stories as there were people and they varied hugely by location and class. Joan Wyndham's story is really interesting but not really typical She was an artsy, upper class teenage girl in 1939: the daughter of two divorced eccentrics, her roguish father was separated from her mother who was living with her lesbian lover. Wyndham was planning on becoming an actress and attending RADA but it closes due to the outbreak of war.

Wyndham falls into an artsy crowd, attends art school and her mother rents a studio for her at the age of seventeen. She has a huge interest in books, theatre, men and sex. The main thing that comes across is that while Wyndham was perceptive and bright, she was incredibly self-obsessed and not a little sheltered. The men she fawns over are awful and I'm not exaggerating- they steal money and cigarettes from her, they ply her with alcohol, they perve on her incessantly. I can't honestly believe they were the best she could hope for. The man she loses her virginity to, Rupert, gloats when it turns out that their friend has died abroad, he hits her, he continues to sleep with another woman (Squirrel), he gloats about raping women (I wish I was making this up).

I get that seventeen year olds don't always have the best judgement but my god. It's quite incredible to think of someone, quite bright, fawning over someone this disgusting. Something that a lot of reviewers have mentioned is that the war itself isn't actually mentioned all that often and it isn't until later on in the diaries that it starts to have an impact: their favourite haunts are bombed, they party during air raids, her male friends are drafted and eventually she joins the WAAF. But you could go for several pages and honestly forget that this was written during a war, which I suppose is accurate in a way. Not everybody was jolly and patriotic (the men in this certainly aren't, they whine like babies when they get called up). For a lot of people war was a nuisance rather than a life changing experience.

Something that makes this diary stands out is Wyndhams interest in men and sex (it's something that her diaries are known for) she was frank. I don't know (being several decades too young), if her attitude towards sex was normal by the standards of the time or not. She could probably afford to experiment more than the average working or lower-middle class girl of the era due to her privilege and access to sympathetic 'lady doctors' and of course she ran around in  liberated bohemian circles. It's still a surprise to read a girl from the era of coy radio dramas and clipped voiced news presenters talk so openly about her desires, about 'poking' and volpar gels. I can only hope that her experiences of lovemaking improved during the war.

Overall it was charming but a little frustrating: a worthwhile snippet of wartime social history if you want to have some of your assumptions challenged.

I haven't read very many diaries of this kind before: I've started reading May Smith's 'These Wonderful Rumours' which is an account of a young schoolteacher who worked during the war and 'Nella Last's Diary'which focuses on the writings of a housewife. I also read (and hope to post a review of soon) 'The Sugar Girls' by Duncan Barrett and Nuala Salvi, which tells the stories of working class women who worked in the East End's Tate and Lyle factory and is partly set during the war. I absolutely love reading about the numerous different experiences people had and I was honestly surprised by both how mundane and horrific that time was.

I plan on uploading much more regularly now that the pressure of exams is over, so watch this space.

30 before 30

Hey guys! Since finishing my Christmas exams I've decided to put together a (very spontaneous) list, inspired by some recent Youtube videos, of 30 things I want to achieve by the time I turn 30. It's a very mixed list and I totally expect it to change as I grow as a person and my priorities and interests change. I'm currently 22 so I have plenty of time to experience a hell of a lot. Enjoy and let me know what you have on your 30 before 30!

1. Write a work of non-fiction: ideally something in social history.
2. Write and illustrate a book for teenagers/young adults.
3. Visit Afghanistan and hopefully volunteer there.
4. Learn to cook (properly).
5. Learn to drive.
6. Save up enough money to buy my own Nissan Figaro.
7. Live in Japan for a while.
8. Get a Master's degree in something I'm interested in.
9. Establish myself in a career I'm interested in: right now I'm thinking publishing.
10. Learn conversational Japanese.
11. Visit India.
12. Visit South Korea.
13. Visit Brazil.
14. Write a screenplay.
15. Volunteer with the FANY (PRVC).
16. Write the novel I have in my head (for real this time).
17. Have enough money for the deposit for a house.
18. Volunteer in some part of the developing world: ideally Nepal or Bangladesh.
19. Create an album of photography.
20. Be fluent in Italian.
21. Appear in a TV advert.
22. Go to a festival.
23. See the Northern Lights.
24. Go to a  Blitz themed party.
25. Go to a cosplay convention.
26. Graduate with a 2:1 degree at least.
27. Go to a Full Moon party.
28. Fall in love again.
29. Pose in front of Salvation Mountain.
30. Go to a Tracey Emin exhibition.

Where does time go?

So it's already November and my first semester is well underway. What have I been up to? Well from settling into a new house, getting involved with NUIG's homework club and being auditor of the Journalism Society, as well as keeping on top of my essays and assignments, life has been pretty hectic.

Firstly, the house. I got so lucky- living with three brilliant housemates, in a comfortable four bedroom house, a twenty minute walk from college. Realistically, I couldn't ask for much more.

Academics. So far, so happy. I can't complain with the way things are going- Italian is definitely my stronger subject but if I push myself with English (and avail of the right advice and support of course) I hope I can get a really strong grade. I'm also writing for the SIN newspaper, which is a great outlet for my writerly urges.

Mental health. This has been keeping up really well. I'm trying to look out for triggers or signs that stress or anxiety is getting the better of me. I find anything related to the Journalism Soc really stressful because a lot of the responsibility rests on my shoulders, but then I remember how much I'm getting out of it and I try to take a break whenever things get too much. As for college work, obviously it comes with stress, but that's to be expected. If things get tough up to exams, I'll try to use my coping techniques.

Reading. Obviously, I'm reading books for English but I'm also trying to fit in a bit of time for personal reading too. An upcoming review will be for Lianne Moriarty's brilliant 'Big Little Lies' and I'm currently reading the (excellent, so far) 'Oh My God, What an Aisling' novel, which I'll post a review for.

Another thing that's keeping me busy is preparing for my JET application. (Again, this is something I want to dedicate a whole blog post to).

All in all, I'm pretty happy (albeit busy!) and feeling optimistic in general. Hopefully, I'll get around to writing more blog posts in the next couple of months.

Fully Functioning Human (Almost) Review

She’s become Youtube famous from her videos and her online persona: chatty, personable, sex-positive and kind of woman-childish (I mean that as a compliment), she’s the role model Irish girls have needed for ages. And now she’s published a book- ‘Fully Functioning Human (Almost)’. There’s been a plethora of these kinds of books, that is the memoir slash life guide with a hefty dose of “how to adult” about them but Murphy’s is a strong voice. These books- take your pick from sex books like Hannah Witton’s ‘Doing It’ to Amy Rose Spiegal’s ‘Action: A Book About Sex’ to Bryrony Gordon’s ‘Mad Girl’ discussing mental health- have filled the gap left by the demise of the teen magazine. But actually, I think they’re better.

Murphy’s book is one of the best. The tone here is soothing and self deprecating. Murphy’s life is touted as extraordinary but actually most of her experiences are- in one way or another- relatable. She talks about growing up from the time of her parents’ divorce and takes us through her life till now. The message here is that nothing- not grief, depression, heartbreak, loneliness, unplanned pregnancy or anxiety- is insurmountable. Murphy is a good writer, the illustrations are a lovely touch and the lists are full of heartfelt and genuine advice.

A lot of these books have to put into context: there’s been a rise in the number of teenage girls and young women suffering from mental health problems, everything from eating disorders to anxiety and depression. It’s above my pay grade to speculate as to why but living in a social media surveyed world, where everything can be faked and everyone is having a better time than you are, probably hasn’t helped. Murphy knows this and she talks about the ways the internet has helped to shape her for both better and worse: opening up her mind to new worlds and distorting her expectations and feelings. It’s an informative and, at times, moving description of coming to terms with the world as it is. This is a book that a girl- of a certain age- would enjoy no matter where she was from but I think it’s especially relevant to young Irish women who haven’t been well served by the media. Here she shows that happiness is possible- if you take care of yourself, build your resilience up and practice healthy habits. A wise lesson to be learned.

Final Year Goals

1. Get a first. Yes, this is everyone's never-ever dream but the difference between wishing and dreaming is a hell of a lot of hard work and perspiration. My track record (2:1 in first and second year) suggests that this is a challenging but feasible goal. So let's do this!

2. Improve my Italian. I've already improved from being on Erasmus but final year is a great opportunity to improve even further and become really fluent. How will I do that? There are tons of Italians around Galway, who are only too happy to help helpless NUIG students improve their speaking skills.

3. Learn to cook (properly). As in, like actually following (simple) recipes. Maybe even trying dishes from exotic cuisines like Middle Eastern or Southern Soul Food (don't laugh, I'm a simple girl at heart). Maybe I'll post the fruits of my labours on here for you to laugh at admire.

4. Get a career plan. This may or may not involve simply pre-ordering the #girlboss workbook and "Lean In for Millennials" and letting them gather dust on my bookshelf but hopefully I'll be heading in the right direction. I may even find an internship that doesn't ask me to pay $5000 to work for free. (Yay!)

5. Get a blog up and running. Yep that would be this blog right here. This is the calm before the storm, come December and my blog posts will be months apart and consist only of teary faced emojis and photos of stacks of books and maybe a long line of zzzzzzzzzz'zzz. You have been warned.

Budgeting: aka, Where Did All The Money Go?

Budgeting is probably the least fun part of being at university (unless you hate your course, in which case, that's just unfortunate). When you're living on your own for the first you'll probably be shocked by how expensive everything is (7 euro for a glass of wine??) and at the same time you'll be tempted to buy all the things.

This is more important than ever when you’re starting uni and learning how to manage money for the first time. It’s amazing how easy it is to live cheaply and well. Alas that was a lesson I could have learnt much sooner in my uni career .

Lecturing you is no fun unless I show my own failures as a young'un, so here, in all their glory, are all the financial blunders I made as a first and second year. AKA: Where did *I* waste the money?

1. Buying snacks like muffins, hot chocolate, fizzy drinks and chocolate for a quick pick-me-up between classes= a waste of money and unhealthy. Buy a multipack of treats from Aldi and ration them throughout the week.

2. Library fines. There is literally no excuse for this. Set reminders on your phone if you need to.

3. Fresh food that goes to waste because realistically you’re not going to cook beautiful dinners from scratch every night. Bagged salads are a curse (just throw what you don’t use into a blender along with fruit for a smoothie. If it tastes vile consider it a penance). Frozen is the way to go always.

4. Buying books or magazines. Like ever. Sure when you’re actually earning money, spending some of your hard earned cash on a book to keep might be reasonable but until then have you ever heard of a wonderful thing called a LIBRARY?! You don’t have the space/don’t trust yourself to return an actual book? Most libraries have online services where you can borrow ebooks and audiobooks along with magazines and-often- language courses. Bliss.

5. Eating out. I know, I know , I know. It’s so lovely to have a gorgeous dinner with friends and restaurant/cafe food is so delicious. It’s so tasty. And expensive. Do this rarely. (Ditto Just Eat. Ditto Costa/Starbucks). Otherwise you’ll be wondering where your money went.

6. Booze. This is blasphemy I know. But consider how much you really need to drink, bearing in mind that alcohol often causes more problems than it solves (that next-day slump? If you drink often enough that can bleed into the next day and the next…). Most Irish people could do with drinking a little less. I know I definitely drank far too much and it’s a waste of money and time.

7. Not being savvy enough. Use your student card. And take advantage of student nights at cinemas, bars etc.

With a little experience, budgeting can be fun and it always helps to remember that you're working towards a goal. The best things in life don't have to involve lots of money and knowing how best to spend what you have is a life skill that will serve you well your whole life. Best of luck to everybody entering college this September!

Just Read

I've just finished three books (three of many books I'd had on the go)- Mary McCarthy's 'The Group', Jesse Armstrong's Love, Sex and Other Foreign Policy Goals and Gary Shteyngart's  'Super Sad True Love Story.'

'The Group' is a social satire following the lives of eight Vassar graduates in 30's New York that left me hugely impressed. McCarthy writes with such a keen eye for the lives of women. I almost never read novels where the female characters are so finely drawn: their neuroses, fears, ambitions, prejudices are all laid bare and their narratives are interwoven with those of the other characters.

I also found it surprisingly modern: it touches on the pressure for women to breastfeed, the etiquette of contraception, pursuing a career in a vaguely artsy field, opening up about being gay, dealing with being in an abusive relationship. There is a lot that modern women will be able to relate to and it's all told in an intelligent and really engaging way.

'Love, Sex and Other Foreign Policy Goals' left me a little more disappointed: it's about an idealistic but clueless young man who, in 1994, wants to win the heart of his posh love interest. What better way to do it than join a drama troupe on their way to Bosnia to show everybody what a bad idea war is?

The characters were mostly unlikable (I also think there were too many of them) and the comedy sometimes fell flat (like for example: the major will-they-won't-they dilemma is answered early on and never really goes anywhere from there). The dramatic arc struggled to keep me interested throughout and it often felt like the book was chronicling an endless series of checkpoints with the reader unsure of where it's all headed. That said, for what it is, I think it's an interesting, fictional perspective of a dark period of recent history.

I'd been looking forward to reading 'Super Sad True Love Story' for quite a while and it didn't let me down: it was darkly comic and frightening and moving. The basic premise is this: in the very near future, America is on the brink of collapse but the people are so hooked on social media that they don't care. In the middle of this superficial and depressing world, a trans-generational and trans-cultural love story develops, destined- like the US- only for tragedy and destruction.

This is the kind of book that makes you think about the very real, sad possibility that society is becoming more fragmented and dependent on technology to the detriment of other human beings. I can see it in the way our language is becoming more diluted with phrases like "I can't even" and "Yassss" replacing real sentences and the prevailing belief that nothing really exists unless it's documented on social media. Above all it made me reflect on the value of vulnerability, love and human connection.

I hope you've enjoyed my reviews/summaries. My next post will be about my current/upcoming reads.